Indian Women Marrying Late and Staying Single: Why? An Insightful Study

DR. BHASKAR CHAKRABORTY Professor of Chemistry Sikkim Government College (NBBGC) An Extension Centr

In our country, we have “Unity in Diversity” in majority of the issues, but in different states, we used to find different cultures and rituals as well as the age of marriage of girls. We are accustomed to see early age marriage of girls (even below 15 years of age) in many of our states. Our society has learnt from centuries and has taught girls that marriage is their ultimate destiny. But the picture is changing from last few years (I have done the survey from January 2018 to December 2024). The trend of Indian women marrying later, often in their 30’s, is driven by a combination of factors, including prioritizing career and financial independence, a shift in societal expectations and a focus on finding a compatible partner. While career aspirations play a significant role, it's not accurate to say women are unwilling to marry, rather, they are choosing to marry later to align with their personal and professional goals. Now, modern Indian women are boldly challenging this age old belief and are in the opinion “Whether I marry or not, it’s my choice.” Basic reasons for this change in opinion and the courage to tackle the forceful decisions imposed on teenage girls by their parents in our country is education, careers, financial independence, mental peace and the search for a worthy partner which have given them the courage to make decisions. In my article, I would like to focus in short about these powerful implications and reflections which are made possible by our teenage and young girls of the country about this traditional marriage system transformation and could manage to raise their voices against all odds of the society. My article is supported by statistical data, my real-life experiences and deep emotional insight. Starting with education and finishing with eligible life partner, I have tried to ponder inside and hope could justify the reasons of late marriage of our girls.

i) Education and financial independence broke the marriage compulsion:

An educated woman no longer wants to be just someone’s “wife.” She is a professional, a responsible citizen and above all, a human being. Those who graduate from IIT’s, IIM’s, AIIMS, or pursue masters abroad now think “If I make all life decisions myself, why should someone (parents or close relatives) else decide when or whom I marry?” According to NFHS (National Family Health Survey, under the Ministry of Health & Family welfare, GOI, looking after the marital status, fertility, family planning, child health & nutrition), December, 2024, highly educated women delay marriage by 4 to 7 years on average. This delay isn’t a problem it’s a conscious decision. They now know that marriage can be a part of life but it doesn’t define their life. ii) Career is the new ‘Security’ not a husband: There was a time when people used to say to our girls, “Get married, someone will take care of you”. But now women are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. They are leading in human resource departments, in banking sectors, information technology departments, education sectors, in media houses (both in electronic & print), in army and entrepreneurship. They don’t need anyone’s shelter they are their own support. NFHS (2023-2024 & LinkedIn2023) report showed that 62% of Indian women prioritize their careers over marriage. For them, marriage is no longer a “security net”, but rather a “shared journey in life.”

iii) Relationships must be based on equality, not just love:  There was an old proverb “Where the husband is, there lies heaven.” Today’s woman asks “Does he respect me? Does he treat me as an equal”? Modern relationships demand not just love but partnership and respect. Women today want someone who shares dreams, supports ambition and divides responsibilities. When they don’t find this, they prefer to walk alone not because they fear relationships but because they value dignity and space. Modern girl’s opinion is “marriage can wait but mental peace cannot” and they believe in self-discovery. They are fond of going therapy, practicing meditation and solo traveling and also believe marriage is not an automatic milestone for them. It’s a personal, deeply thoughtful decision. Some girls are in an opinion that if a relationship compromises their mental peace, they don’t want it. This clarity is not selfish it is self-respect. iv) The reality of divorce brings caution: Divorce is no longer just a western phenomenon. In India too, broken marriages are increasingly visible. Women are realizing that marriages made under pressure or out of fear can be toxic. NFHS (2022) report as well as from National Law University (New Delhi) stated that 70% of divorced women felt they could’ve avoided divorce if they had more time and no pressure. That’s why women today don’t rush. They choose consciously. They prefer being single over being stuck in the wrong marriage. V) Social media is empowering women to speak up: Platforms like Instagram, Reddit and YouTube have given women a voice, a space to share real stories. When a woman says “I stayed single, and I’m happy” it gives hope to millions. These platforms have normalized the fact that “Being single is not a failure it’s a choice.” Women no longer feel isolated they feel connected, understood and empowered. Not just in cities, our rural India is also changing. Digital India has brought awareness to towns and villages as well. Girls in small towns now dream of independence, not just marriage. They want to build careers, gain respect and live on their own terms. Even parents in rural areas now want their daughters to become financially independent before marriage. This change is slow but is an eye opener to many illiterate parents in rural villages. These revolutionary mind setups of young talented girls in villages are now a days qualifying national level examinations including IAS, IPS, IFS, JEE Mains and NEET and thus setting up examples to many. Study says its spreading fast.

Today’s Indian girls boldly declare to their parents and society: “I won’t give dowry, I won’t leave my career. I won’t do all household work alone. Motherhood is my choice, not a social duty. If I’m happy alone, I won’t marry just for show”. This isn’t rebellion it’s awareness. This isn’t defiance it’s dignity. This isn’t feminism it’s humanism. This is true empowerment when a woman lives life on her terms. This change is not just personal it signals a social revolution. Indian women have stopped seeing marriage as an obligation. They now see it as a choice made with clarity and courage. According to a well-qualified bank officer “If a relationship cuts me off from myself, it’s not love, its imprisonment”. This change is deep, permanent and revolutionary. It is creating a society where every woman has the right to live, love and lead on her terms.

What is most interesting is that single women are changing the rules of the game in bold ways. For instance, two of my self-employed friends (women at mid-fifties) recently adopted girl child’s and have decided for single parenting to their daughters. The broader social trend has certainly not played itself out fully and we’re very much living in a society where the rules are being rapidly rewritten by women.

The online matrimonial sites reflects how women are getting married even at the age of late 30’s when they feel themselves financially secure and exchanging views and understandings with her would be life partners via online chatting which may assure them for any possible untoward happenings after marriage.  The trend reveals that 24% of surveyed women in India no longer feel obligated to follow traditional timelines, with 67% looking for long-term relationships and only 30% seeking marriage. Many women are honest with potential partners about their goals and 45% prefer dating people who share the same perspective on timelines. “The trend reflects a significant shift in dating as women in India is increasingly looking inwards, opting out of traditional relationship timelines, trying to reclaim autonomy and exercise their agency in their romantic lives. This doesn’t necessarily mean women don’t want to get married, they are prioritizing their financial independence and careers and placing themselves at the centre of their lives. They want to date in a way and at a pace that works best for them.

The shift away from traditional timelines is driven by reasons such as financial independence (43%), career focus (42%), the desire to choose their partner (36%), waiting for the right person to marry (35%), completing higher education first (38%), and delaying having kids (42%). Additionally, 22% of women defy traditional timelines to heal from toxic relationships or past trauma. For those not adhering to traditional timelines, 23% avoid friends and family pressures and 45% only date people with similar relationship goals.

What could be the future consequences if women at mid-30’s opt to marry?

Delaying marriage until the mid-30s can lead to potential challenges, particularly regarding fertility and societal expectations. While there can be benefits like increased maturity and financial stability, women may face difficulties in conceiving due to declining fertility and increased health risks during pregnancy. Additionally, societal pressure and potential judgment from peers and family regarding the "right" age for marriage can be a concern. Female fertility naturally declines with age, making it more challenging to conceive in the mid-30 and beyond. Also there is always an increased risk of infertility. The likelihood of experiencing infertility increases as women age, potentially requiring medical interventions like IVF.

There are also chances of complications during pregnancy. Older mothers may face higher risks of complications during pregnancy, such as gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and miscarriage. Research study reflects if this trend continues for another decade, natural birthrate of child’s will start decrease and consequently there will be less number of girl child’s in our country. Research also reflects by 2050, the men: women ratio could be 65:35 which is alarming indeed for all of us! In addition, women may face societal and personal pressures. Traditional views often favor earlier marriage and childbearing, which can lead to social pressure and judgment for women delaying marriage.  

Couples marrying later in life may have established routines and preferences, which can require adjustments and compromise in the relationship. The limited time options for childbearing can influence family planning decisions and potentially lead to fewer children or opting for alternative methods. Much depends on the capabilities and nature of the woman and also of her husband and in-laws. Hence, a woman, even after a late marriage (at the age of 30 to 35) can lead a harmonious, succulent and joyful married life with her husband and in-laws, if she is considerate, accommodating and responsibly supportive to her husband and in-laws. In today’s modern world, the age of marriage of a woman has also been normally reaching to beyond 30, particularly when she is well-educated, liberated and ambitious. However, as a marriage is inherently a communal and social matter, it should be organized at an age of conventional consensus, in order to make the marriage socially approved and prestigious.

At last, my personal opinion after studying in this issue is, each of both the spouses should solemnly understand that the marital union & life is a collective and cooperative responsibility and a common mission. Hence, each spouse should contribute one’s best according to one’s possible resources and capabilities to the happiness, progress and stability of the concerned marital union.

Courtesy: NFHS (National Family Health Survey, under the Ministry of Health & Family welfare, GOI & NSSO (National Sample Survey Office, Kolkata), 2017 to 2024