Why We See What We Already Believe?

PRATIMA SHARMA

Have you ever noticed how every experience we have in life through the same situations is perceived differently, with a distinction in how we feel, how we react, how we interact, and what we learn? Suppose that, in a group, one person believes everyone likes them, while the other holds a discomfort, convincing oneself of being judged and talked about in their absence. When one of us sees an opportunity in tough times to improve ourselves, work harder, and be better, another sees failure waiting to happen at any cost, with demotivation. Externally, nothing has changed. The situation may be the same for every one of us, but our mind, it is not.

How many stimuli, events, and people do we encounter every minute? How does the brain track things every time, while constantly trying to make sense of the world, leading us to perceive and categorise what to keep and what to ignore? Our brain is designed to predict rather than constantly rediscover the world. It looks for familiar patterns because they require less effort and help us make quick decisions. In the processing of information, it relies on the beliefs we already hold about ourselves, other people, and the world around us. And all these beliefs become mental filters through which we interpret our experiences. In psychology, this is referred to as schemas, the patterns that are held deeply, shaping our way of thinking, feeling, and responding to things.

Imagine a person who grows up believing they are "not good enough." Even when they receive appreciation, their mind may dismiss it with suspicion or simply consider it the politeness others hold, internally doubting if they really deserve it. But when one criticism emerges, it stays with them for a very long time, with constant self-monitoring. While, on the other hand, a person who believes they are capable, with strong self-confidence, is more likely to view the same criticism as an opportunity to improve rather than being affected by it. The events here are identical, but the way we interpret and respond is different.

Our mind also tends to search for evidence that supports what it already believes. This is known as confirmation bias. For example, we hold a feeling of hatred for someone, so we only notice things that prove how bad they actually are, ignoring the parts of them that are kind, empathetic, and helpful. If we believe people cannot be trusted, we notice every disappointment, their reactions, and their way of talking that emphasises our own belief. Likewise, if we believe we are destined to fail, every setback becomes proof that we were right. We begin collecting evidence for the stories we have already written about ourselves, and they become firmly rooted in our minds. But neither of these tells us that our thoughts are wrong or that our emotions are invalid. They are real experiences, but they are not always an accurate reflection of reality. Sometimes, what we believe strongly shapes what we notice, what we remember, and even the choices we make.

And the question that needs attention is not, "What am I seeing?" but, "What belief is shaping the way I see it?" Because when we become aware of the lens through which we view the world, we also give ourselves the opportunity to change it. And sometimes, changing the way we see ourselves changes the world we experience. Take your personal experiences of misunderstandings, fights, emotional distance that led you to lose a relationship, friendship, or a bond with a brother, sister, or any other relationship, because we didn't see it through a broader lens. So, the next time you find yourselves certain about a person, a situation or yourself, pause and look inward to "What am I believing"? We never know, sometimes changing one belief can be enough to change an entire reality.