What it is to live with Anxiety?

Anxiety is a state of excessive worry where we feel that we have no control over our lives. We feel that we do not have the coping abilities to deal with the situation. We are always in a defense mood state which means, “What if I have a big fight with my partner, I would leave the house?” There is no evidence to the fact that there will be a big fight or even though it happens the situation might not arise to leave the house.

People with anxiety, most of the time, work on the basis of “What if?” What if this happens, what will I do? They always try to think of future and start preparing themselves what if this happens. They are always in “a go to” state where they are already preparing themselves about “what might happen”. Due to this, they are never in a relaxed body state as they are constantly thinking about the future of “What if that happens?”

What does a person going through anxiety actually feels?

A person going through anxiety feels that people are always judging them. The general belief is, “I’m not good enough.” They also feel that constant worrying will change things. The anxiety tells them that more we think, the more control we have over ourselves. In fact, the reverse is quite true. Their thoughts are constantly controlling them.

Our anxiety also tells us that our past experiences are not over and that we will continue to suffer no matter what happens. So it leads them to believe that we cannot experience good things in life because we are not worthy of them.

They are continuously questioning their worth, “Am I good enough? Do I really deserve this compliment by a friend?” How can I do this? I can never do something good?” It is how they actually think about themselves and how they process their thoughts.

They feel they are wrong and others are correct about their judgment.

Obviously, they do not like the way they feel in anxiety. They want to come out of it and feel good about themselves but the continuous thought loop in their mind never allow them to come out of it.

No one wants to think like this. They, too, want to leave a care-free life. But, for them, it seems impossible.

I see many of my clients going through anxiety and, trust me, none of them wants to live this way.

For them, everyday is a struggle to live. Everyday is the same day for them with no hopes.

The biggest problem remains is that anxiety cannot be seen and only the person going through it knows what it feels.

Ms. Abha Agarwal is a Counselling Psychologist based in Siliguri with over 14 years of experience. She deals with issues related to anxiety, stress, parent-child-family relationship, behavioural concerns in children/teens, mobile addiction. Contact: 9733217536.

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